postheadericon Have you contemplated the way you will defend your apartments and real estate in Rio de Janeiro from aliens?



by Ronaldo Gaucho


Even before you start reading this document I have some very careful instructions for you. Immediately go into your kitchen and find some aluminum foil. All apartments ought to be stocked with this important supply. If you can't find any in the kitchen, just proceed to the local Rio de Janeiro grocery store and you really are sure to find some for sale. Do that now. I'm waiting.

Okay, you have the aluminum foil? Now wrap it around your head but in the end make a long stick of aluminum foil off the top of your head. The taller the better. This can keep them from controlling you. Okay, now that that has been completed, you ought to go to the penthouse level of your building, you will have the best reception and it will shield you from the mind reading waves. This piece of real estate is the best spot for you at the moment.

Now that you have taken the necessary safety measures, you should now know that even though you've made the resolution to seek out apartments that are in Rio de Janeiro, this kind of real estate is no longer safe. Historically, from the time of Hollywood's creation, it has been documented that aliens only go to the United States and they only speak English. Unfortunately, because Brazil is becoming a larger participant on the world stage, they are also starting to entice aliens and an invasion could be imminent. Before long, your penthouse overlooking Copacabana and Ipanema could be flooded with the bald green skinned rascals. You've been warned.

So how will you secure yourself from the alien attack of Rio de Janeiro? Well fortunately knowledge is power, and now you know. You were successful enough to find some aluminum foil for sale, but you can't just let yourself be the sole person to know. That would be selfish. You need to start distributing this information. So right away, at this moment, you should go and run through the streets of Copacabana and Ipanema screaming, "Aliens are coming!"

It's essential that you do this. The aliens aren't here on holiday. They didn't travel here for a vacation. They came here for a very precise piece of real estate, Earth. Unfortunately, our apartments are located here, so we all have a stake in this. Last time I checked, we didn't put the Earth up for sale.




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